Why????

Why do people talk behind other peoples backs??? I think it is childish and needs to stop!!!! Especially when you are in college you are an adult now and need to know that talking behind another persons back is childish and it usually hurts the other person if they find out. I recently found out that my school newspaper staff has been talking about me when I don't show up for meetings!! I am busy just because I slip up twice and couldn't get things in doesn't give a person the right to talk behind my back it PISSES ME OFF!!!!!!! I am done getting treated like a rag doll that can be talked about and picked on just to release stress for someone else!!!!! If this doesn't stop my next step is to quit I can't take it anymore and just want a chance to feel like this School newspaper is something that I can relieve some of my stresses in by taking pictures and not having to worry about drama!!!! Just leave me alone!!! My friends that I thought would always have my back don't seem to be there anymore and what ever I have done to deserve the being deserted I am sorry!!! I have had a bad year wrought with depression and dealing with problems that I have had to deal with since middle school!!!! I know a couple of people that read this might take this in offence but this isn't directed to you at all!!! So please don't take offense to this you know who you are and I don't care if this offends you you have hurt me for the last time!!!!! So now I am going to leave you with a quote that I live by when it comes to my friends. A FRIEND WILL BAIL YOU OUT OF JAIL BUT A BEST FRIEND WILL BE SITTING WITH YOU SAYING DAMN WE DID BAD!!!!! So those who have hurt me I wouldn't mind an apology and if you have any questions don't hesitate to call but if you cant apologize than fine with me just know that I know who has been talking about me and I am willing to forgive and forget I don't like it but I am also not one to hold a grudge and this does not give you the opportunity to go and talk about the one that told me!!!! So please if you have any questions call Rae I need to talk to you as soon as possible because I need to Vent!!!! I love my friends like family so please don't break a friendship this way!!! It is the fastest way to break a friendship with me and I don't need this to happen!!!!!

well I am alot better

I am officially done with counseling I have been told that I don't need it anymore and I have reached all my goals that I had set for counseling. I am happy about that but I have more going on in my life than just that now. school is getting harder and I can't take it anymore. my stress level is way way to high. I don't know what to do and am still feeling depressed but I am not sure if I should quit or continue. If I quit I won't be coming back to Hardin-Simmons if I quit I will not get my degree for a while. but if I continue how am I going to deal with my stress? I have not been doing good with my stress I have found outlets that are not good to relieve my stress. WHAT DO I DO??????? :'(

:'( :'( :'( :'( :'( :'( :'( :'( :'( :'( :'( :'( :'( :'(

So I had one of the worst days I have had for a while yesterday. I almost cried during class because we were talking about families. I applied everything to my parents that we were talking about and that includes the subject that in some families there is an outcast (me)!!! I just can't win and every time I try to be happy I fall flat on my a**. Why does it have to be that way and why would God allow it to be that way? I know I shouldn't question him but I can't take it anymore and I am so worried that I have come to the end of the rope and it will break!! Why????????? I can't do this anymore!!! Oh also my teacher said that therapy doesn't always work that sometimes the person doing therapy (a child was our example) the person who has the ties broken can't always mend these ties and usually is still considered an outcast. I know for a fact that my parents won't try at therapy themselves so why am I going?? These are questions that I came up with during class yesterday and made me want to run out of my class screaming and crying but these are also questions I will have to try to answer and work out. MORE STRESS YAY J/K

awwww

My friends just had their baby awww 6 pounds 9 ounces awwww can't wait till there are pictures go jake you are a daddy now man!!!!!

all better

So I went to my first counseling session yesterday!!!! Very good I don't know why I was so scared lol I have another next tuesday yay I am so glad and can't wait for more strategies for me to use when I am stressed yay!!!!

Scared

I just signed up to do counseling at ACU starting on Tuesday Sept 1st!!!! Man I am scared not only to try my hardest to talk to someone I don't know but to finally get help scares me a whole lot. I haven't forced myself to get help before and now I wish I had!! I have needed help since middle school but didn't get it now that I am going to I am scared and I don't know why!!!! I should be happy that I finally can get some advice, not that my friends can't give me advice THANKS SO MUCH GUYS LOVE YOU LOTS, but actually get some professional advice and maybe get some techniques of how to lower my stress level in good ways not bad!!!!!! I want to Thank ALL MY FRIENDS for always believing in me and making me feel like I could get through whatever came I just need a little more help these days that's all and I will never stop coming to y'all for help!!! KEEP ME IN YOUR PRAYERS thanks guys!!!

????? j/k I am happy lol ??????

2 more days baby and so along parents until november heck ya