New Year Blues

Why do I always come back to a family that doesn't seem like they love enough to see that my passion for dogs is that a passion.  I am tired of feeling down.  2015 has been possibly the worst year I have had.   And to tell you the truth I am physically, emotonally, and mentally tired of trying to make people happy.  I don't know how to proceed.   Hopefully 2016 will be better!!!

Book

Chapter 1

Kristen sat watching her horse Jasper run through the pasture on a beautiful Montana morning. She had just rescued him from a slaughter house not a month ago and it had taken only a few weeks for him to start bonding with her and listen to her commands. The autumn wind blew through his mane and tail as he ran like a wild horse on the plains. Kris herself had come from a difficult home and if it wasn’t for her foster mom, Annie, she might never have gotten to know Jasper and the better life she lived now. It would be a perfect time for me to see if Jasper would let me ride him Kris thought “Jasper come.” She grabbed the halter and lead rope as Jasper came running towards her. He halted right before he ran into the gait and she let herself into the pasture. Kris decided it would be a good idea to tack Jasper up in a pen rather than in a barn so she had more space just in case Jasper decided to fight the tacking process. She put the halter on him and led him down to the training arena and ground tied him. Jasper eyed the tack and let out a nervous snort. Kris picked up the bridal and Jasper went crazy he took off to the other side of the ring and stood there daring Kris to come closer to him with the bridal. Kris made a mental note to try and track down Jasper’s record of owners due to the possibility that he might have been abused and that is why he hated being tacked up.

Kris decided she should try join up with Jasper maybe then he would decide to trust her with the tack. Kris walked up to Jasper and unhooked the lead rope and then walked to the middle of the pen. She sent him around the pen with a flick of his lead rope. After a few laps he gave her the sign she had been looking for he started opening and closing his mouth as if he were chewing, his ears pointed in her direction listening to her every command. She turned her back and waited. Jasper halted and met her in the center and put his nose on her back. Kris walked off and as if he had a lead rope on him he followed her. She turned around and patted him on the nose and then clipped the lead on and led him to the fence. She ground tied him once again and picked up Jasper’s bridal. This time Jasper didn’t take off running at mere sight of the bridal but he still looked at it nervously. Kris approached him cautiously and raised the bridal to his mouth. He took it! she thought excitedly as Jasper let the bit slide between his teeth and over his tongue. Next, Kris tried the saddle and Jasper just stood there like an old pro. After putting on Jaspers tack she sent him around the pen one more time. After his lap she brought Jasper to the center and double checked his saddle to make sure it was tight and then mounted him. She pushed him into a walk and after another lap pushed him through the rest of the gaits. After she cantered for a little while she brought him to a halt. She dismounted and then walked Jasper through the gait. I think I will take him on the trails for a while Kris thought. As Jasper left the gait, he started prancing letting Kris know he was rearing to go. That is a good sign Kris thought I can’t wait to see how he does on the trails. As she mounted Jasper suddenly sidestepped violently. Kris’s slipped her foot out of the stirrup and grabbed the reins to secure Jasper from running off. Looking around for what might have spooked him, Kris noticed that her mom had just come out of the house with a white shopping bag. Jasper must not like bags as well Kris thought, sure enough when her mom started coming toward them Japer reared and started to dance violently. It took all of Kris’s strength to not let go of him as he reared and sidestepped to avoid the oncoming bag. Kris hurriedly half dragged Jasper through the open gate and let him go. Before he could bolt through the gate she closed and latched it. “What happened? Are you okay? Kris I have never ever seen him act like that before! Why do think that happened?” “Mom Mom one question at a time!!!!” Kris was in the midst of trying to catch her breath. “I am okay just out of breath. I believe that the bag set him off but I am not sure he just went crazy! Can I see that sack I want to try something!” Kris asked. “Here you go” Annie said as she handed Kris the bag. Kris took the bag and entered the pen Jasper was nervously eyeing the sack from the other side of the arena. As Kris tried to get closer Jasper took off around the ring. Kris turned around and hid the sack under her shirt. As she turned around Jasper looked at her confused he couldn’t understand why the bag had disappeared. Cautiously, he came toward her and sniffed her hand. As she pulled the bag back out of her shirt he went wild and set off to the other end of the pen. “Mom, we really need to track down a history on him I think he has been abused and I will need to do a lot with him before he is ready to go to a home if we decide not to keep him!!!” Kris said devastated to think Jasper had been abused.  “I will see what I can do hun!! I will start at the slaughter house and work my way from there it might take a while but you can test him with certain things around the barn!!! Now that we know that he hates sacks we can start working with him on that and go from there!” Annie felt bad for Kris she knew she loved this horse.

After Jasper had calmed down, Kris decided to try again taking him out on the trails. She got him out of the gate and ran him down the first trail towards the river. Once at the river Kris allowed Jasper to get a drink as she dismounted she didn’t want to try to take Jasper through the water on his back just in case he panicked and she needed to calm him down. After they got through the river, much to Kris’s surprise with no problems, she mounted again and then turned Jasper towards the ridge that overlooked her house. They ran up the hill and halted at the top of the ridge.  Dismounting, Kris sat under the tree close to the edge and let Jasper eat the grass around her.  She knew he would stick close and she drifted off in thought.

 

Kris loved this view, her house down in the valley and the beautiful snow capped mountains in the background. Looking at her watch she noticed that she might be late to dinner and with a sigh she decided she would enjoy the scenery a little longer before heading home. Annie never minded her being a little late for dinner unlike her birthmother would have. Kris had come a long way since she was taken by the state because her mom and dad were inadequate to take care of her. It had been her mom that had beaten her before both parents were taken but had her dad been home Kris knew he would have helped in the abuse she received from her mom. Kris vividly remembered the days leading up to when her mom and dad were arrested and she was put into the foster care system. She had come home, always hoping that she had beaten her mom home. She would sneak a snack (her mom never allowed snacks it was 3 meals a day and nothing else) and then go to her room locking the door to do her homework as fast as she could. Once her mom came home it was a good idea to vacate the premises. Her mom had no problem, especially when she was drunk or had a bad day, finding something to hit and beat Kris about if one thing was out of order.

Three days before Kris was taken by the state, she had come home just like usual and done what homework she could do in such a short amount of time before her mom got home. She had decided to skip a snack because she had a big lunch. Finishing her calculus homework, she heard the door open, “Damn she is early,” Kris thought, “I hope she had a good day and that she isn’t drunk.” Man was she wrong!!! “KRIS GET YOUR ASS DOWN HERE RIGHT NOW!!!!!” Kris ran down the stairs hoping that she would receive a slap or something that wouldn’t leave a bruise that she would have to explain later.  As Kris rounded the corner her mom grabbed her by the sleeve of her shirt and pushed her into the corner of the wall. Shooting pain shot down her spine as she hit the wall. After her mom had pushed her into the wall she let go and Kris sunk to the floor not being able to move. She was hurt and wished she hadn’t come downstairs. Before she could fully recover enough to stand her mom threw a kick that landed straight into her ribs. She received a yelling, which Kris just tuned out, and after her mom took off down the hall towards the kitchen.  Kris wobbled back to her room and cried her eyes out. Her mom hadn’t been drunk this time she probably was taking her frustration from work out on her. How was she going to explain this at school the next day? She was bruised everywhere except her upper arms, face, and lower legs. 

Packing her bag for the night, Kris snuck out the door and went to the school.  She found a concealed spot under the bleachers and slept for a while.  She went back home only after she knew her mom was asleep.  The next day she failed miserably at finding an excuse to tell her teacher why she was in pain. She was sent to the nurse’s office and after the nurse took one look at the bruises and stepped out of the room. The next thing Kris knew time had stopped and the police were there, dragging her down to the station, and all the while asking her to confess to the abuse that her mom and dad had been giving her. When she couldn’t take the questioning anymore she broke down and told them what was happening at her house. It had all gone so quickly from one day being worried what was going to happen to the next being at a place she didn’t have to worry. The one question Kris couldn’t get out of her mind was, “How long will my happiness and being in this good home last?”   

After an hour of enjoying the scenery and thinking about her past, Kris was ready to go home. She checked Jasper’s saddle and then mounted. She rode him back to the barn with no problems, which was a good thing because she really was in a daze and not paying attention to what Jasper was doing. When she got back she noticed Annie walking towards her. “How was your ride? Did he do okay?” “Yes, He did fine and the ride went smoothly. Did you call the slaughter house?” “Yes Kris, I did, they don’t have a record for him but said that they got him from an auction and gave me the auctioneer’s name so I will call him in the morning. It is time for dinner so cool him down and come on in and eat.” “Okay mom.” Kris wasn’t too hungry her appetite was nonexistent due to remembering her past which had made her sick to her stomach. Why had her mom and her dad treated her that way? What had she done to deserve a mother and father that abused her so much?

Kris couldn’t express how happy she was to have Anne as a foster mom. It was so good to be out of the house she grew up in and away from her abusive mother and father that had hurt her for so long ago. In so many ways she understood what was going through Jasper’s mind. How could she trust any adult again? Why should she ever trust an adult again? It had taken her long enough to start trusting Anne and like Jasper the trust was there but only because of being in her home for several months. Now the only thing she was missing in her life was a boyfriend and a father that she could trust. She had longed to have a father to be apart of her life and often wondered why she was never lucky enough to have one that was good to her. After cooling Jasper down Kris went into eat and then after getting the chores and homework she had done for the night she settled in for a long nights rest.

 

Chapter 2

The following days for Kris were filled up with school and working with Jasper. Anne had called the auctioneer but had no response and Kris was wondering if he was intentionally not calling them back for fear of what he had to tell them. On Friday morning, as Kris was getting ready to leave for school, the phone rang and Kris ran to answer it. “Hello?” Kris listened and heard a man on the other end of the line. “Hi my name is Gabe Santiago. I am the Auctioneer at Colby Auction House and got a note that an Anne Montoya called to ask about a horse I sold a few months ago. Is she around? I would like to speak to her” Gabe grumbled into the phone.  “No sir she is at work but I am her daughter and I am the one working with Jasper… what information can you give me on him?” Kris’s heart skipped a beat while she waited for the man to answer. “What is his number we stamped in his mouth so I can pull up his records?” The auctioneer asked. Kris thumbed through her files and found Jaspers file. “Sir the number is 5P719H8” Kris told Gabe. “Ok my files indicate that this horse was a nationally recognized jumper named Sunny Takes it Home. He was sold to us because the owner was not able to afford to take care of him any longer and couldn’t control his spooky horse. When we got him he was very skinny and he had what looked like whip marks on his flanks. A Jesse Nolan, one of our frequent buyers was the only bid on Sunny he runs the slaughter house.” “Do you have any information on the owner that gave him up? Specifically a number I can reach him at I really need to get more information.” Gabe hesitated, “I am technically not supposed to be giving the number out but if you will let me know what he says I will be willing to give you the number. I agree that abusing a horse is not a good thing…ok his number is 406-523-6798.” Kris looked at her watch “damn," she thought "I am late… Gabe I have to go I am late for school thanks again and I will keep you updated.” After hanging up with Gabe she ran to the bus that just pulled up and headed off to school.  She was relieved to see the bus was late, what would Annie have thought if she had to call her at work? 

After the school bell rang, Kris ran to the bus. It had been hard to get through the last day of school knowing that she was in reach of understanding why Jasper was the way he was. She also couldn’t wait to tell Anne what she had learned from the auctioneer. When she got home she ran inside. Anne was sitting in the kitchen talking on the phone so Kris ran upstairs to change into her barn cloths. When she came down Anne was off the phone so Kris sat down to talk to her. “The auctioneer called this morning before school,” Kris was so pumped that she couldn’t sit down any longer. “Oh he did what did he say?” Kris continued telling everything that the auctioneer had told her and even that he had given her a phone number to call. “Kris we will call tomorrow ok I want to be here when you do because I want to be able to talk to him as well.” “Ok Anne, will do, I am headed out to the barn to work with Jasper some more.” With that Kris headed out the door and headed to the barn.

The following day Kris and Anne sat down to call Jaspers owner. “Hello, Jesse speaking how may I help you?” “Hi my name is Anne Montoya and my daughter Kris Montoya is on the line as well we have some questions for you about your former horse Sunny Takes it Home.” “Um… how did you get my number? Was it that lousy auctioneer? He isn’t supposed to give out my number!” Kris was stunned at how mad the guy was. “Sir we just need to know the history he is so frightened at everything and is a liability waiting to happen if you could just tell us what he was like before you gave him for auction that would be a big help.” Jesse seemed to calm down a little, “Well he was a great jumper he won me a lot of ribbons but then he became too high stung and finicky and I couldn’t train him out of it.” Kris was confused, “Just like that? Did he have an accident or anything? What made him like that? It is very unusual for a horse to become that way out of the blue.” Jesse hesitated, “Yes ma’am we went to the nationals and at that competition he spooked before going over the last wall jump…he had never done that before… we crashed over the wall I broke my collar bone and he pulled most of the tendons in his front right leg. After he healed he was never the same horse and I just couldn’t ride him anymore.” Kris and Anne looked at each other, “What spooked him do you know?” Jesse started to get mad again he didn’t like to play 20 questions, “I have no damn idea ok I have to go I hope you can figure Sunny out because I don’t think he is worth anything but horse meat and glue! Have fun with him and don’t hold me responsible for him hurting you if he does!” And with that Jesse hung up without a goodbye. This left Anne and Kris stunned. Kris was so mad at Jesse that she wished she could go and hit him in the head and knock some since and understanding at how much Jasper was suffering. She turned to Anne with tears in her eyes. “Anne I don’t think he is telling us everything about him. It was either him or a ranch hand that put fear of different things in his mind… a horse doesn’t just start fearing, for example a white sack, for no reason what so ever.” Kris had hoped that he could give her a lead to what might have happened with Jasper so she could help the horse she had learned to love and care for.

 After talking with Jaspers owner, Kris was in need of getting her mind off of the conversation. Kris headed to the barn and tacked Jasper up then headed out for a ride. Jasper didn’t fight her but seemed to pick up that she was upset and that she needed to calm down. He did everything she asked him to do and the entire ride was good. After an hour out on Jasper Kristen headed back to the ranch, untacked Jasper, and went inside to do some homework. Her ride had clamed her down and while doing her homework she thought more on what she could do to help Jasper. She wanted so bad to go up to his owner and give him a piece of her mind but decided that it wasn’t worth the risk she would be putting herself in. Why did he not care? The following day Kris called Jesse again just to see if she could get some more out of him. “Hello, Flying C Ranch, Ty speaking…how may I help you?” Kris was excited she was guessing she had gotten a ranch hand on the phone and decided to see if he knew anything. “Yes, Ty this is Kris Montoya speaking… I have a horse of Jesse’s that I bought at an auction and am trying to rehabilitate. I have some questions have you ever worked with Sunny Takes It Home?” “Yes…I have…but I am sorry I am not supposed to speak to you bosses orders” “Please Ty if I could just have a moment of your time even if it means going to get coffee or going for a ride I have a lot of questions that I need answered to help Sunny…Please!” “Ok, Ok I will meet you on the Ridge in about an hour would you mind bringing Sunny?” “Actually, I was thinking about that maybe it might make him a little bit happier. I will see you in an hour!” And with that she hung up she knew that if Ty was the one who had hurt Jasper that she would at least see a reaction from him.  She hated lying to someone she had never met but her intention was to get to the bottom of Jasper’s fears.

 Kris ran down the stairs and told Anne what had just happened. She was so excited that she couldn’t sit still for the hour and when it finally came time for her to tack up Jasper he was feeding off her excitement and was rearing to go. Anne came out of the house carrying turkey sandwiches one of her and the other for Ty and after sticking them in her saddle bag Kris was off to meet him. She got to the Ridge first and without any problems from Jasper. She dismounted and tied Jasper so that if he spooked at the sight of Ty he couldn’t get away. 30 minutes went by and Kris was just getting ready to give up on waiting when Ty rounded the corner on a beautiful paint. He dismounted and came towards her. “You must be Kris…nice to meet y…” Kris noticed he was looking at Jasper. “Oh my goodness…he is looking so good…can I see him?” “Yes Ty just go slowly I don’t want him to spook.” Kris watched Ty approach Jasper. She noticed the look in Jaspers eyes soften as Ty came near him. She was pleased that at least Ty was not the culprit behind Jaspers fears.  Her plan had worked she had at least ruled out one person and she settled down her butterflies in her stomach enough to enjoy talking with Ty.  They talked more about Jasper and how Ty had bonded with him while taking care of him as a yearling.  An hour after she met with Ty, he had to leave, “Thanks for the Turkey sandwich, when can I see him again?”  “Anytime you want,” Kris responded. 

 

Chapter 3

Kris had Ty come over more that week. Jasper was a different horse around him and she was pleased with the progress he was making. His fears began to subside and seemed to liven up more than he had since he had come to the ranch. Ty and Kris were also becoming more of friends than Kris had ever thought possible. She was really glad he enjoyed hanging out with Jasper and Kris decided it might be time to ask Ty what might have happened to Jasper while at Flying C Ranch.  Kris told Ty to meet her on the ridge on Monday after school. When he arrived, they sat down for a picnic while they let the horses graze. When Kris got the nerve to ask Ty what had happened Ty interrupted her. “Kris will you…um…will you go out with me?” Kris was stunned and didn’t know how to answer. “You ok Kris?” Kris came back to reality, “Um…yes I am ok…and um…yes I will go out with you!” Kris blushed as she answered his question. After finishing their picnic and spending the rest of the time just talking to each other Kris and Ty went their separate ways. When she got back to the barn she realized that she had never asked Ty about what happened with Jasper. Damn she thought but that thought was quickly replaced by the excitement of what had happened on the ridge. After telling Anne what had happened she went and laid down for a nap after the long and exciting day she had.

That weekend when Ty and Kris went out on their first official date, Ty seemed distant. After the first hour of not talking or acting like he wanted to be there Kris decided to go home she was fed up with how Ty was acting. She turned to Ty “I am going home ok it sure seems like you don’t want to be here or at least be here with me!” Ty looked horrified and grabbed Kris’s arm and started to cry. “Kris it isn’t that I don’t want to be here with you… I do and I just can’t seem to show you that! I just have a lot on my mind that is keeping me from enjoying our time together but I don’t want that to seem that it is me not enjoying you being here!” Kris didn’t know how to answer him she was livid that he had too much on his mind to enjoy their date. What on earth could be so important that it would keep his mind off her?” After Ty took her home she cried herself softly to sleep so she wouldn’t wake Anne.

Kristen didn’t see Ty that much the rest of the week even though he kept calling her non stop. He didn’t seem to understand how much she had been hurt by the comment he had made the night before. She went out to the barn and started tacking Jasper up. Jasper somehow sensed she was upset and that made him upset. Her ride was as horrible as the first one she went on with him after she got him home from the slaughter house. After she struggled with Jasper some more she turned him home and rode home. When she had untacked Jasper she went to go to put him in his stall and noticed a piece of paper tapped to his stall door. Thinking it might be from Anne she put Jasper up and opened the letter and started reading the 3 page letter.

 “Dear Kristen,

I know I made you mad the other night but it wasn’t because I wanted to. I never meant to hurt you! I asked you out for a reason and that was because I like you!! I had a lot on my mind but knowing many girls I am sure you thought that it was me thinking I had made a mistake!! I never did that!!! I just have a lot to tell you that I don’t know how to tell you.  I was trying to think of a good way to tell you which is where my mind was.  When you told me that you were going home I felt horrible.  I tried calling and you never answered.  What I have to tell you is important so I am not hiding anything from you in our relationship.  However, it is hard to explain but I will give it my best shot… I am an x convict. I was put in jail after I was caught stealing at a food market. I don’t know how to explain to someone who doesn’t know what hunger feels like, but with my dad if I got a meal it was a good day. He and I just didn’t agree on everything and he didn’t always perform his fatherly duties so to speak. With no mother figure in my life to keep him inline he got away with murder or in my case neglect.

When I stole it wasn’t for my pleasure, it wasn’t a game or CD, it was food from the market. My dad knew I didn’t have the money to get food for us to eat when he told me to get us dinner. I went to the market knowing once again I wasn’t going to get to eat and ended up having hunger get the best of me. I was afraid to make him mad and so I stole a roasted chicken and some potatoes and as I was walking out I was caught.  I must have looked like an idiot trying to walk out of the super market with that amount of food. When the police questioned me I told them my dad was wanting food and I didn’t have the money to get the food. However, when they questioned my dad he said that he had given me money that day to get food, that I must have spent it on something else and chose to steal instead of coming to him.  With an adults words vs. a teens words in a court system I ended up serving a month in jail and my job at Flying C Ranch was assigned as my community service.

I hope this knowledge doesn’t change how you feel about me but if it does I won’t hold it against you!!! You are one of few that know and I would like to keep it that way. Knowing I had just asked you out drugged up my past. That is why I was distant. I didn’t want to take the chance you found out from someone else and we fight about it later!!! Kris please call me when you find the strength to call!!! Not before. I know you will need some time to think on all that I have told you just now and that is fine with me. Also I owe you an explanation for Sunny.

Ty

Ps. Sorry I couldn’t find the strength to tell you in person!!”

Wow Kris thought she would have never thought Ty was an x convict. She didn’t know what to think. Yet it sure explained why he was so quiet. It took her an hour to sum up enough courage to call him but she was glad she did. Ty seemed so happy to hear her voice on the other line and after another hour talking to each other they had set up another date to talk about Jasper.

 

Chapter 4

Kris and Ty’s date had started out well with a dinner and a movie. After, Kris and Ty rode up to the hill overlooking her home. As they sat looking at the stars Ty started pouring out all that he had witnessed happen to Jasper. Kris was stunned to learn that Jaspers owner and the trainer had used the poling method to train Jasper. She couldn’t imagine the pain Jasper had gone through due to the repeated hitting of his legs to make him think he needed to jump higher. Kris knew poling was illegal and thought to herself, “of course he was a great jumper but only because of the abuse he endured to get to that point.” What Ty had told her had made Kris sick to her stomach yet she also wanted to know why Jasper was so afraid of white sacks and tack so she asked. The answer she got was what she had known all along. The sacks were used as another method to get Jasper to mind if he didn’t mind the whip. The sack was tied to the whip to make a sound to spook Jasper into minding whoever was controlling him. The bridal was also used to make him mind, the bit was tightened when he pulled against it to force him not to pull any longer. The forehead strap was also tightened during shows to make him hold his head up so he looked more graceful. Had a judge noticed any of these features, his owner would have been disqualified and charged with animal abuse but it was never discovered and Jaspers owner was able to walk away. Ty continued “The day that Jesse had his accident the trainer had pushed Sunny… I mean Jasper too hard over the practice course. He was to tired and sore to perform during the round and when Jesse tried to push him Jasper halted to fast for him and he flew over the jump. It wasn’t Sunny’s fault it was the damn trainers but Sunny had gone too far and the next thing I knew Jesse had put him up for sale at an auction. I lost my best friend for something the trainer could have prevented due to his unruly training methods.” Kris felt for Ty she knew that he had loved Jasper so much and she wished nothing had happened for Ty to lose the friend he had loved so much.

After Ty finished telling Kris what happened to Jasper, Kris rode home. When she got back to the ranch Kris cooled Jasper down and turned him loose in the paddock and went to go find Anne. Anne was busy tending to her garden but stopped when she heard Kris coming around the corner. “Anne I need to talk to you. It’s about Jasper” Kris said with tension in her voice. “What is it Kris? Is he ok?” Anne replied. “Ya he is fine but I found out why he is so scared all the time. Ty and I talked … do you have a minute?” “Yes Kris I have time let me finish this plant and I will meet you inside!” Kris went inside and thought how she was going to tell Anne all she had learned. She knew that if Anne decided to press charges on Jasper’s owner that Ty would get into trouble for even opening his mouth about the situation, but she knew that Anne had to know what had happened. As Anne entered the kitchen she had a concerned look on her face. After washing her hands and pouring both her and Kris a cup of tea she sat down to listen to what Kris had to say and Kris started telling Anne what Ty had told her as tears streamed down her face.

Chapter 5

When Ty got back to Flying C Ranch he noticed that the trainer and Jesse were in the ring practicing. As he got closer he noticed that they were poling Chloe, a beautiful Egyptian Arabian. Furious, however knowing he could do nothing, Ty went into the barn to get his chores done. When he got into the barn he noticed that Bast, a beautiful Quarter Horse who had just foaled a beautiful filly not a week ago, was sweating and seemed out of breath. He also noticed that her legs were bleeding and bruised. Ty let himself into the stall and Bast shied violently. Ty quieted her down and noticed that she had been ridden recently and had not been brushed or cooled off. Ty was so mad and was about to leave the stall when he noticed that on her neck there where whip marks. He was ready to blow up but knew that there was no way that he could do anything. He looked over the filly and noticed that she too was all sweaty and had not been brushed at least for a week. Ty went and grabbed a grooming kit and brushed out both Bast and her foal and then let himself out of their stall and went to start feeds. When Ty was done he decided to take out Monty, the paint that he had ridden when he first met Kris. He had to decide what to do about the new horses that Jesse was abusing. Ty couldn’t believe that Jesse was doing exactly what he had done to Jasper. He couldn’t understand why Jesse hadn’t learned the first time when Jesse and Jasper had gotten hurt. He knew he definitely had to talk to Kris about it and decided that he would call her in the morning.

The next morning Ty called Kris before he went to work. Ty made plans to meet Kris on the ridge and to talk about what he saw. When he got to the ranch he noticed that Bast was being poled by Jesse and that the foal was also in the ring being worked by the trainer (a little to hard for such a young foal). Ty did his morning chores fast due to the rage and adrenaline surging through his body. When he went to go check on Chloe, he noticed that she was bleeding on her sides from where the whip had landed too hard. He cleaned her wounds and decided to call Kris to see if she could meet him earlier. He wanted so bad for all of this to stop for this two horses and the foal, as well as all the other horses that weren’t being trained yet. When Kris got to the ridge Ty broke down in tears as he told Kris what he had seen the last couple of days. Kris and Ty decided it would be best to get the horses out of the situation they were in and decided to steal them that following night with the knowledge that if and when they got caught they would have a legitimate reason to have taken the horses.

 

Chapter 6

The following day Kris and Ty got together to plan how they were going to steal the horses that night. Ty told Kris that Jesse was going to a show so they shouldn’t have any problems with getting the horses away from the farm. Knowing that there were three, Kris and Ty decided that Ty would come to pick her up on Monty about 8 and they would ride back to the ranch. Then they would saddle the two adult horses and halter the foal. After, they would ride back to Kris’s barn and hide the horses there for the night to decide what to do the following day. With the plan set in motion Kris and Ty went out to dinner. They knew that it was going to be a long night especially if they got caught. Kris told Anne that she was going to be out late so she wouldn’t worry. Kris knew she had to think of a way to explain the three new additions to the barn but her mind was too occupied with the daunting task that lay ahead of her that night.

 

Ty met her on time and they rode back to Flying C Ranch. Kris had never been there and was amazed at how many acres there where. It made her ranch look small. Knowing they had to wait until the other ranch hands went home Kris helped Ty with the chores and went to look at Bast and her foal and Chloe. Chloe was fine and looked content but when she got to Bast’s stall, Kristen noticed that she was down. She quickly entered the pen and went over to Bast. She was sweating and thrashing around and her foal looked petrified. “TY BAST IS COLICING I NEED YOUR HELP” Kris yelled. She got up and went to the foal that shied at her reaching to her. Kris knew she had to do something. At that moment Ty showed up with a halter and put it on Bast. Kris went and grabbed a piece of twine from the trashcan and made a makeshift halter for the foal and then led her to an open stall and locked her in. After, she went back to help Ty get Bast on her feet. When Bast was up and walking with Kris, Ty went and made a call to Kris’s vet, he knew that if Bast needed a follow up it would have to be with the same vet so questions weren’t asked about her. The only good thing that came out of Bast’s colic episode was that it allowed time to fly by. The next thing Kris and Ty knew it was time to take the horses to Kris’s. After getting the ok from the vet that the colic was over, Kris and Ty sat down to talk over their plan. The colic had changed their plan and now they would have to lead both the foal and Bast. Ty decided that he would ride Monty and he would lead Bast and Kris would ride Chloe and lead the foal. After saddling up Monty and Chloe Kris and Ty rode and led the two horses back to Kris’s barn the first part was over and now to figure out what to tell Anne.

When Kris, Ty, and the horses got to the barn Anne was standing out front with an angry expression on her face. Kris knew that the vet must have contacted Anne after the visit to Flying C Ranch. Anne’s face softened however when she saw the state of the three horses. “What happened?” she said as Kris and Ty approached her. “These horses are being abused and so we rescued them. Anne I know it was wrong to take them but I couldn’t leave them with Jasper’s owner. Bast had a bought of colic and so we called our vet. Ty and I didn’t know what else to do” as she said this Kris had tears rolling down her checks. She wasn’t the type to cry but she was so mad at Jasper’s owner and the fumes had built up so much the past few days she couldn’t help it. “Ty is this true? Kristen if it is I am ok with you saving the horses! The vet called me that’s how I found out.” Ty looked at Anne and nodded that it was true and Anne nodded back understandingly. After Kris and Ty went and put Bast, the foal, and Chloe up. Then Ty and Kris went into the house to make a sandwich.

Kicked down but still fighting

I haven't posted in awhile.  So those who have followed me I am sorry for the late update.  I have been dealing with a lot these last few months and just trying to deal one day at a time.  I think a lot of the stress stems still from my family.  I need to move but now with everything I am doing I can't bring myself to doing so.  On that note I have started school again.  Lol I think I am a forever student.  I have finally decided to do Vet school.  I am starting with my Vet Tech and may move forward from there.  I have done a lot of vet stuff with the dogs in the rescue and helped out a lot in the spay and neuter clinics.  I tell you it is my passion and I will probably never stop working with animals.

I have also done so many rescues these last few months some of which really have put some burden on myself.  We have had multiple that I have cried over.  I tell you the one hard thing about rescue is when you have to put down a dog.  Especially when that dog was neglected or abused and that is why you are having to euthanize.  One in particular was a dog found hit on the side of the road.  His back completely shattered.  He would not have died from his injuries since he had no internal bleeding, but he would have died of starvation / dehydration.  This poor dog was in so much pain I stayed in the car with him over night fearing to move him.  When we went to the vet the next morning our fears were confirmed.  It hurts to say good bye to some of these dogs especially when you try your best to help them. 

Another instance just happened this last weekend.  I was transporting a dog out of Deming NM when I got a phone call about a momma dog and her pup in Shiprock.  The pup was down and the mom was laying by her pup.  I was already on the road to meet up with transport when I got the call and told them I would go check on the dog when I got home if no one else check on them.  Well I drove our newly rescued dog home and threw her into a kennel and drove to Shiprock.  What I saw when I drove up looked like 2 dead dogs.  To my surprise the momma dog lifted her head up and looked at me.   She was laying by a pup that was very stiff and not breathing.  My fears were realized that I had come too late to save the pup and kept kicking myself thinking maybe I could have helped him at least cross the Bridge without suffering if I had only been a few hours earlier.  I got momma loaded in the car, but had to hear her cry and paw at me the entire way home.  I knew she was just asking me to go back and get her pup.  That just broke my heart but I didn't have a choice.  She is doing okay now and gaining weight, but her eyes still show that she still morns for her pup.

Also thing I have going on is my health not being good.  A few weeks ago I had a seizure and have been dealing with Vertigo on and off the past few months.  I have not been doing good in the health department and have also been dealing with depression again.  I have discussed with my dog trainer and doctor on getting a service dog.  The dog will be not only for emotional support helping me when I am down, but also helping me with mobility (more around the house) when I am having my dizzy spells.  I added my 6th pup to my pack because of this reason.  Badger is my very large German Shepherd pup.  He is being trained mostly by me and my trainer to help me when I need it.  I am happy to say he passed a big test today and did very well with going into AT&T with me.  I had to go and check my status on getting a new phone and he passed with flying colors allowing me to talk with the lady all while he was laying at my feet.  He is well on his way at 21 weeks of age to getting certified.  Doing very well and learning quickly.  I can't wait to have him officially certified and go places with me when I am needing him.  I just hope my vertigo doesn't make me loose my drivers license.  I love having my freedom.

I have also tossed back and forth the idea of fostering a child.  I looked into it and noticed I had to have a family reference.  I know I will never get anyone in my family to give me a reference so I have put that to the side and will look into other ways to help the kids out there that need my help.  The reason this idea came about is my friend who I have talked about before.  The family is going downhill as far as family dynamics go.  The kid is not doing good and he is always upset.  I have helped him by taking him away from the fighting and drinking but I am afraid he might just give up all together.  I know where he is coming from and wish I could help him more.  I know I could help any kid that has come from a broken home because I have the experience in that department.  I will keep my friends kid under my wing until I know he is good.  He has been told he can call me at anytime if he needs too.  I just love that kid and wish I could offer more help. 

And finally on my update is work.  I still have my enemies and they try everyday to make my life at work a living hell.  Don't get me wrong I do love working where I am at but it is hard to work when you have people constantly breathing down your back just waiting for you to screw up.  I feel like I am not wanted at work and that hurts a lot.  Yes this is just a bridge job until I can get my degree but it shouldn't feel this way.  I have found myself multiple times wanting to quit.  Knowing if I do I won't have what I have in my life.  But knowing that I am dealing with so much with the family it hurts to know that I don't have a family where I work.  I guess I will have to just suck it up and deal I have 2 more years of working towards my vet tech before I have to worry about switching. 

I wish I had more cheerful news but my life has been riddled with a lot of downers these last few months.  It has been hard to cope with but I have my friends I rely on.  I also rely on my dogs, without them I don't think I could cope.  I love being able to go home and hug and love on the dogs after a long day at work or rough day with the parents.  They tend to know how to help me even if it is rough housing with each other and making me laugh.  They are the best and Badger is going to help a lot when I am down being able to go with me. 

Well that is it for now,
Thanks for reading

Just when I think things are good....

Looking back on my life the only thing that has been constant in my life has been my friends.  I have had a good friend that I have known for the last year and a half that used to work with me that has become part of my family.  Her son I have taken under my wing trying to teach him what is right and wrong in the animal world.  I thought I was doing the right thing.  I don't think she agrees.  She was upset with me tonight that her son was asking for a puppy.  He is 10 of course he is going to ask for a puppy then he will move onto a toy or a moto-cross item.  Yes he loves animals and this is something that he needs to understand that you can't have all of them.  I feel she blames me for all this and if that is the case I feel bad but I can't do anything about it.  It is not my son.  If it were I would sit him down and explain.  I hate to lose friendship over something I think is important for every child to learn but it seems like she doesn't understand that it is the younger generation that is going to grow up and needs to learn that abuse is wrong.  If I can start with one family and continue having them teach others I have succeded.  I am not using them since they are family but I hate to see that she was so upset with me because one dog she decided to foster and then told her son he could keep her, then went back on that ok.  I have dealt with that shit my entire life and I can assure you it isn't teaching her son anything but disappointment.  I am trying to stay out of it but needed to vent which is why I will not put names in here.

again I feel troubled

They say they love you then you fight all the time. They say we want you to not have to worry stay in they house your renting and save some money then when shit hits the fan they threaten to kick you out. How am I supposed to feel I am tired of the fighting the threats the coming over unanounced day in and day out. I dont know how much more I can take. What I do know is I have made a mistake I should have never left Abilene. I should have stayed where I wad loved and with my friends but once again the screw up (at least according to the rents) made another mistake. I hate this feeling like I am always no matter what the screw up. I also hate that the few times that they say that their sorry it is so forced or rehearsed that it seems fake. How am I supposed to live my life this way?

The new year needs to be better

As I look back on the year I have overcome too much for just one person. I have dealt with the verbal abuse of my family. I have dealt with hard times at work. I have excelled at doing what I love which is working with animals. I have 4 amazing animal children Cool, Bella, Sadie, and my new man Riley whom all have love enough to make up for what I don't get from my parents. I have moved out and am loving finally having my own place even if I am renting from the rents. However, I still am struggling with depression and way to much stress. I wish the family was different and that we all got along. But I am still walking forward and not looking back. If I have to I will leave this town behind but since I have overcome so much it would be crazy to leave on a sour note. I am just tired of always being the one on the short stick and told what to do. If not for my 4 legged children and writing I think things would be worse. I also have all my friends I call when I am down to thank for all you guys do. You guys are my sanity life line if it weren't for you I don't know where I would be and especially during the holidays when it is the worst. I love how much you guys support me in what I do even though I never have my parents support and wish I did it is nice to feel like at least someone wants to support me. It is my friends that help me through my tough boughts of depression and fighting. I luv ya guys

OMG I am in love with a dog

I got a pit bull mix in 5 days ago. He was an abandoment case and I have fell head over heals for this big lug. I named him Riley. Riley is so in love with Sadie that I chose to keep him and give him a home that he deserves. That is where the trouble begins. I had to tell the rents and man let me tell you the stress is just begining. I feel once again betrayed by the ones I love. Feel like once again I have to fight and not be shown an ounce of understanding for how I feel. My dad said to start looking for a home so I can move out after Christmas. Good ridince in my opinion but I can't think that way I know that. I have just completed 5 months of not wanting to cut and have kept myself sober for 2 years. Why do they continualy keep stressing me out? Do they want me to go back to my vices? I don't get it anymore. I can't keep up with the stress they cause, the stress work causes, and the everyday stresses. I won't stay sober for long if this keeps happening. I emailed them and gave them this website in hopes that they will read it and understand what I am going through so if I change my blog this is the reason. For those who follow I will email you if I choose to do this or maybe I shouldn't I don't know. I am just tired of being treated as a 3 year old would and not being thought of as an adult who can make her own decisions. Well I have to go get ready for work Thanks for all of the friends that have supported me through my tough times it is you guys that keep me fighting for my rights and make me feel loved