again I feel troubled

They say they love you then you fight all the time. They say we want you to not have to worry stay in they house your renting and save some money then when shit hits the fan they threaten to kick you out. How am I supposed to feel I am tired of the fighting the threats the coming over unanounced day in and day out. I dont know how much more I can take. What I do know is I have made a mistake I should have never left Abilene. I should have stayed where I wad loved and with my friends but once again the screw up (at least according to the rents) made another mistake. I hate this feeling like I am always no matter what the screw up. I also hate that the few times that they say that their sorry it is so forced or rehearsed that it seems fake. How am I supposed to live my life this way?