I haven't posted in awhile. So those who have followed me I am sorry for the late update. I have been dealing with a lot these last few months and just trying to deal one day at a time. I think a lot of the stress stems still from my family. I need to move but now with everything I am doing I can't bring myself to doing so. On that note I have started school again. Lol I think I am a forever student. I have finally decided to do Vet school. I am starting with my Vet Tech and may move forward from there. I have done a lot of vet stuff with the dogs in the rescue and helped out a lot in the spay and neuter clinics. I tell you it is my passion and I will probably never stop working with animals.
I have also done so many rescues these last few months some of which really have put some burden on myself. We have had multiple that I have cried over. I tell you the one hard thing about rescue is when you have to put down a dog. Especially when that dog was neglected or abused and that is why you are having to euthanize. One in particular was a dog found hit on the side of the road. His back completely shattered. He would not have died from his injuries since he had no internal bleeding, but he would have died of starvation / dehydration. This poor dog was in so much pain I stayed in the car with him over night fearing to move him. When we went to the vet the next morning our fears were confirmed. It hurts to say good bye to some of these dogs especially when you try your best to help them.
Another instance just happened this last weekend. I was transporting a dog out of Deming NM when I got a phone call about a momma dog and her pup in Shiprock. The pup was down and the mom was laying by her pup. I was already on the road to meet up with transport when I got the call and told them I would go check on the dog when I got home if no one else check on them. Well I drove our newly rescued dog home and threw her into a kennel and drove to Shiprock. What I saw when I drove up looked like 2 dead dogs. To my surprise the momma dog lifted her head up and looked at me. She was laying by a pup that was very stiff and not breathing. My fears were realized that I had come too late to save the pup and kept kicking myself thinking maybe I could have helped him at least cross the Bridge without suffering if I had only been a few hours earlier. I got momma loaded in the car, but had to hear her cry and paw at me the entire way home. I knew she was just asking me to go back and get her pup. That just broke my heart but I didn't have a choice. She is doing okay now and gaining weight, but her eyes still show that she still morns for her pup.
Also thing I have going on is my health not being good. A few weeks ago I had a seizure and have been dealing with Vertigo on and off the past few months. I have not been doing good in the health department and have also been dealing with depression again. I have discussed with my dog trainer and doctor on getting a service dog. The dog will be not only for emotional support helping me when I am down, but also helping me with mobility (more around the house) when I am having my dizzy spells. I added my 6th pup to my pack because of this reason. Badger is my very large German Shepherd pup. He is being trained mostly by me and my trainer to help me when I need it. I am happy to say he passed a big test today and did very well with going into AT&T with me. I had to go and check my status on getting a new phone and he passed with flying colors allowing me to talk with the lady all while he was laying at my feet. He is well on his way at 21 weeks of age to getting certified. Doing very well and learning quickly. I can't wait to have him officially certified and go places with me when I am needing him. I just hope my vertigo doesn't make me loose my drivers license. I love having my freedom.
I have also tossed back and forth the idea of fostering a child. I looked into it and noticed I had to have a family reference. I know I will never get anyone in my family to give me a reference so I have put that to the side and will look into other ways to help the kids out there that need my help. The reason this idea came about is my friend who I have talked about before. The family is going downhill as far as family dynamics go. The kid is not doing good and he is always upset. I have helped him by taking him away from the fighting and drinking but I am afraid he might just give up all together. I know where he is coming from and wish I could help him more. I know I could help any kid that has come from a broken home because I have the experience in that department. I will keep my friends kid under my wing until I know he is good. He has been told he can call me at anytime if he needs too. I just love that kid and wish I could offer more help.
And finally on my update is work. I still have my enemies and they try everyday to make my life at work a living hell. Don't get me wrong I do love working where I am at but it is hard to work when you have people constantly breathing down your back just waiting for you to screw up. I feel like I am not wanted at work and that hurts a lot. Yes this is just a bridge job until I can get my degree but it shouldn't feel this way. I have found myself multiple times wanting to quit. Knowing if I do I won't have what I have in my life. But knowing that I am dealing with so much with the family it hurts to know that I don't have a family where I work. I guess I will have to just suck it up and deal I have 2 more years of working towards my vet tech before I have to worry about switching.
I wish I had more cheerful news but my life has been riddled with a lot of downers these last few months. It has been hard to cope with but I have my friends I rely on. I also rely on my dogs, without them I don't think I could cope. I love being able to go home and hug and love on the dogs after a long day at work or rough day with the parents. They tend to know how to help me even if it is rough housing with each other and making me laugh. They are the best and Badger is going to help a lot when I am down being able to go with me.
Well that is it for now,
Thanks for reading
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