Psychology

I love my Abnormal Psychology class!!! I have learned so much!!! However when we are going over the material I can't help taking what we are learning and analyzing if it explains people in my life like friends or family!!! lol I know how stupid is that!!!! lol Today our class was talking about Major Depression... we talked about all the attributes that cause this type of depression and couldn't help noticing that I fit alot of those attributes for depression. The attributes that apply to me are: I take my anger and turn it inward and blame myself, I idealize a goal which means i set a goal I can't achieve, and finally I have been conditioned behaviorally by my parents due to low reward giving and higher punishment giving. I have also had a depressive episode earlier which sets me up for another episode now or later on in life because I didn't receive treatment for my depression!!!! This isn't good the statistics for this is there is a 50% chance after the first episode I will relapse into a depressive state, after the second episode there is a 70% chance I will relapse into another episode, and after the third episode there is a 90% chance to relapse into another episode ugggh that isn't good!!! I am doing everything possible to keep this from happening because the last time I was in this depressive episode I was cutting almost every single day which in itself isn't good!!!! I am doing group therapy and a 12 step program. But how do I not go into a second depressive episode when my parents set me up for failure by not providing enough rewards to overcome the punishment factor they give me? Or how do I not internalize my anger towards them??? I don't know I guess I can only give it a true try before I seek help for something I have dealt with my whole life but I don't want to set myself up for another depressive episode!!! Like my teacher said a little help goes a long way and the best way to cut 1 episode in half is to seek help!!!! I guess I can take his advise.

Another Thought

So above I talked about depression and the effects of factors in your life that set you up for depression!!! I also said that seeking help after your 1st episode is the best thing for you to not have a relapse back into depression later. But what if you don't want to be labeled as going to a psychologist or help group??? I am this way my fear is being labeled and I don't like to be labeled!!!! I am more passive and rely on my friends to get me through things and I feel if I was labeled as getting psychological help my friends wouldn't look at me the same!!! I know I know everything you say to a psychologist is confidential and would not be repeated but how do you tell your friends where you are going when you go to a session??? I don't want to lie to them but I need this so much ugghh decisions decisions!!!!